A Life With No Regrets (Fairhope #5) Read online

  I was hoping to get this done and crawl into bed for the rest of my life, but my interest is piqued and I can’t resist. Besides, tonight’s success calls for a little celebration.

  “Why not?” I say. I drop the mop and sit down across from him.

  He looks shocked, but recovers quickly.

  “Scotch,” I tell him, but he’s already got my favorite brand in his hand and is pouring it before I finish the word.

  Someone’s been paying attention.

  He pours a whiskey for himself and leans his forearms against the wood of the bartop.

  “To the best night Rob’s has ever seen,” he says, holding his glass toward me.

  I nod and clink mine against his before taking a long drink. I slam it down on the counter, enjoying the warmth as it trickles down my throat. My shoulders immediately relax, and I nod for him to fill it up one more time. “If I’m going to take a break, let’s make it worth my while,” I say.

  “Hell yeah,” he says and fills my glass again.

  “Okay, so tell me about this crazy family of yours,” I say. “You guys all live together?”

  “Are you really interested?” he asks.

  “Yes,” I say. “We’ve been working together for months, and I really don’t know that much about you.”

  “Okay,” he says with a sigh. “My great-grandfather bought a nice piece of wooded land on the other side of the county line about a hundred years ago,” he says. “He had a lot of ideas about government control and wanting to stay as private and as off-the-grid as he could, so he set up what he called a sanctuary for all his kinfolk.”

  I narrow my eyes. “So you live on a commune?”

  “No, nothing like that,” he says with a laugh. “More like a trailer park owned and operated by my daddy.”

  My eyebrows shoot up and I nearly spit out the scotch I’ve just sucked down. I cough and wipe my mouth. “Wait, what?”

  “I know it’s a bit unorthodox, but my dad and his brothers still own the land and they let all of us live there,” he says, tossing back another shot. “If you’re family, all you have to do is pick out a lot and set up camp. No questions asked. No money exchanged.”

  “So everyone just buys a trailer and finds a place to park it?” I’ve never heard of anything like this in my life.

  “I guess you could put it that way,” he says.

  “How many people are we talking about?” I ask.

  He looks up toward the ceiling as if the answer’s written in the air. “Let’s see. Ten trailers at the moment,” he says. “Each one with between one and seven people living inside. Don’t ask me to do math at this time of night, though. I’m guessing about what? Forty people?”

  “Wow, so forty people all living on one plot of land as one big happy family?” I simply can’t imagine it. “This is something I have got to see for myself.”

  The words are out of my mouth before I even realize it. Colton studies me.

  “I can’t tell if you’re making fun of me or if you’re genuinely interested.”

  “Interested,” I say. “It sounds about as opposite from how I grew up as you can possibly get.”

  “I know it sounds weird—“

  “You keep saying that like you feel you need to apologize,” I say.

  He shrugs, but I can see the embarrassment in his eyes. It’s the first time I think I’ve ever seen him look uncomfortable. “A lot of people don’t understand it,” he says. “They think we’re crazy or some kind of redneck cult or whatever just because we all settle down on the family land. But it’s not like that at all. I mean, yes, my great-grandparents had some ideas about conspiracies and the government being up in everyone’s business, but it’s not like we hold anti-government rallies in the backyard.”

  I try to imagine what it would be like to live that close to forty of my own family members and come up empty. Other than Knox coming back to town, it’s been me and my daddy alone for years. I don’t even know where my mom is, and I haven’t seen her since I was five years old. For all I know, I have sisters and brothers out there I’ve never met.

  Truth be told, Knox and my dad are the only family I have in this world, so trying to imagine forty or more is next to impossible for me.

  “So where do you fit into the Tucker family trailer park situation?”

  “I’ve been living in one of the smaller trailers on the property the past year or so,” he says. “It’s not mine, though. It belongs to my cousin Tammy, passed down to her from my Aunt Carla when she moved to Kentucky a few years back. But then Tammy met some guy on the internet and took off to Texas, so I moved in.”

  “What happens if Tammy decides to come home?”

  “That’s a very timely question,” he says. “Because she’ll be back in about two weeks, newly engaged to the Texan, who is coming with her.”

  “Ooh, you’re going to have to move out, I’m guessing,” I say.

  “Yes I am,” he says. “And the thought of moving back in with my parents gives me nightmares.”

  “Why don’t you get your own place?” I say. “And I’m not talking about a trailer. Why don’t you get an apartment here in town so you can be closer to the bar? You’re here almost every night anyway?”

  “I guess I never really thought about it,” he says. “It might be nice to have a little privacy once in a while. I wonder how expensive those apartments near campus are?”

  “I think Leigh Anne said they were about six hundred a month,” I say.

  Colton whistles and shakes his head. “No can do. Not without a few more nights like this,” he says.

  Daddy comes out of the back room smiling like a loon. “What a night,” he says. “I think we should turn on some music, because I feel like dancing.”

  He grabs my hand and pulls me out of my chair, spinning me around like a ballerina. I laugh and wrap my arms around him.

  “I see you two started the celebration without me,” Dad says. “Pour me one and then let’s call it a night. I’m exhausted.”

  “Me, too,” I say. “One more to toast the best night Rob’s has ever had.”

  Colton grabs another glass and pours three more shots. “To Rob’s,” he says.

  “To Rob’s,” Daddy and I say in unison as we all clink our glasses together and throw them back.

  It’s one too many for me, and by the time the liquor has reached my brain, I’ve apparently lost all sense because I turn to Colton and say the dumbest thing I’ve said in a long time.

  “You should move into the apartment over our garage.”

  I know it’s a dangerous thing to offer, because the thought of him living just a few steps away from me gives me hives, but I can’t help myself.

  “What’s going on?” Daddy asks.

  “Colton was just talking about how he’s about to be homeless, so I was thinking about how Knox just moved out of our apartment over the garage.” I turn to Colton, the booze completely clouding my judgment. “It’s nothing fancy, just a small one-bedroom place with a full bathroom and a kitchenette, but it’s furnished and we could rent it to you cheap.”

  He raises an eyebrow and something about the way he looks into my eyes sends a shiver of excitement down my spine. “How cheap?”

  I look to Dad and he shrugs. “How does two-fifty a month sound?”

  My heart skips a beat, and I have a feeling I’m going to regret this. We already spend way too much time together, and now he’s going to be living just a few feet away? I’m playing with fire, and we all know what that leads to.

  But it’s too late. The damage has been done.

  “Two-fifty would be amazing,” Colton says. He holds up the stack of tips and smiles. “Do you take cash?”

  Chapter Four

  Colton says goodnight and heads home, so Daddy and I finish up and lock the doors before making our way out back to the house.

  He puts his arm around me and hugs me close. “You did an amazing job tonight, Jojo,” he says. “I’m so proud of
you. You’ve really stepped up this year. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  “Thanks, Daddy.” My heart swells with pride. I’ve been working so hard lately, but it’s finally starting to pay off. “It was a good night.”

  “I like that Colton boy,” he says as he unlocks the door to our small two-bedroom house and pushes it open. “It was nice to see you two having a good time together. You don’t take enough time for yourself.”

  I take a deep breath and step inside. Not this again.

  “I don’t need time for myself, Daddy. I like working at the bar with you,” I say. “I’m happy.”

  “I know you say that, but no girl your age should be hanging out with an old guy like me all the time,” he says. “You need to get out more. Hang out with your friends and have some fun. You’ve earned it.”

  “You’re my friend,” I say.

  “Josephine, you know that’s not what I mean,” he says.

  I hate it when he calls me Josephine. It’s like he thinks using my full name is going to make his words mean more or something.

  “I know what you mean, but I’m telling you that I’m fine,” I say. “Let’s not spoil a perfect night by talking about it, okay?”

  He pulls me closer and kisses the top of my head. “I just love you so much. I don’t want to see you work so hard that you forget to have fun,” he says. “It can be a really lonely life when you refuse to let other people in.”

  I wrap my arms around him and close my eyes as I sink into his chest. I know he means well, but sometimes he sounds like a broken record, always pushing me to make more friends or go out on more dates. He just doesn’t understand. I like my life just the way it is. It’s safe like this. Simple.

  “I’m not lonely, Daddy,” I say. “I have you.”

  “I won’t be around forever, Jojo,” he says.

  I pull away and shake my head. “Don’t talk like that. You’re going to live forever,” I say. “I’m tired. I’m going to bed, and I better not wake up in an hour and find you out here watching TV, you hear me?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he says with a laugh. “Goodnight, sweet girl. Get some rest. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  I brush my teeth and strip down to my tank top and underwear before crawling under the covers. I expect to fall asleep in an instant, but instead I toss and turn half the night thinking about risk and regret and what it might feel like to finally let someone else in for a change.

  Chapter Five

  My sister’s newborn baby opens her mouth in a wide stretch of a yawn, her tiny hands curling around her face. I smile and snuggle her closer, wrapping the soft pink blanket tighter around her little body.

  “She’s really beautiful, Cammie. You did good,” I say.

  Cammie smiles and leans back in the big tattered recliner that used to belong to my dad. He moved it over here a few weeks ago before they brought the baby home from the hospital. We don’t have a lot in the way of material possessions in this family—never have—but it’s a sign of love for Dad to have moved his favorite recliner over here to make the new mom more comfortable. After watching most of my older siblings go through this with their first babies, I know Cammie is in for a lot of sleepless nights sitting up in that chair, nursing and rocking this little thing back to sleep.

  “How are you feeling?” I ask.

  “Still a little sore, I guess, but mostly good,” she says. “More than anything I’m just exhausted. You would think I would have figured out how this works after watching so many babies being born in this family, but damn. I wasn’t prepared for just how tired I would be all the time.”

  “It won’t last forever,” I say. The baby—Emma—opens her eyelids a tiny bit and shows off her dark blue eyes. I smile down at her. She’s so tiny and fragile in my arms. “I’m taking a lot of shifts at the bar, but if you ever need an extra set of hands during the day, just let me know. I can come sit with her a while so you can rest, if you need me.”

  Cammie closes her eyes and rocks the chair back and forth. “That would be heaven,” she says. “Honestly, even just an hour of uninterrupted sleep right now would feel like a year.”

  I look over at my sister. She’s the closest to me in age of all my siblings and we’ve always been close. I’m happy for her, but there’s a part of me that had hoped she’d wait just a little longer to start a family. It feels strange to be the only one now not married with a family of my own.

  Sometimes I think maybe I’m just supposed to be the fun uncle who comes over to babysit every once in a while but never has a wife and kids. It’s hard to imagine settling down like this, but I’m happy to help when I can.

  “Why don’t you go to the bedroom and take a nap, then?” I say. “I’ve got her for a little while.”

  Cammie opens one eye and stares at me. “Are you sure?” she asks. “Aren’t you working tonight?”

  I shake my head. “We’re closed on Sundays,” I say. I need to think about packing up my stuff so I can move into the new apartment, but it can wait a couple hours. “I’ve got this. She just ate and she’ll probably fall asleep here in a few minutes. You may as well take advantage of the peace and quiet while you can.”

  She stands and crosses over to us, planting a kiss on my forehead. “Thank you, Colton, this means a lot,” she says. “You’ll come get me if you need anything?”

  I raise an eyebrow. “You’re wasting precious sleeping minutes here,” I say, teasing. “We’ll be fine.”

  My sister smiles and runs her hand along Emma’s fuzzy head of blonde hair, so fine it makes her look like a baby chick.

  “You’re so good with her,” she says softly. “When are you going to find the right girl and settle down with a family of your own, baby brother?”

  “Not you, too,” I say, shaking my head.

  Ever since she first announced she was expecting, that’s all I’ve heard from everyone around here. I’m the last to settle down and get married, so I guess that means no one is going to leave me alone until I do.

  Well, they’re just going to have to wait.

  “Sorry,” she says with a giggle. “You know we just want you to be happy.”

  “I am happy,” I say. “You know me. I don’t think I’m really the settling-down-type. After all, someone has to be the family screw-up around here. Might as well be me.”

  “Don’t say stuff like that,” Cammie says. “No one thinks you’re a screw-up.”

  I laugh and shake my head. “Maybe someone ought to tell that to Dad.”

  Cammie touches my hand. “I know he’s hard on you, but he means well,” she says. “You’re the only son he has, and he wants you to be just like him. Don’t let it get to you. I love you just the way you are.”

  “Thanks,” I say. “Just don’t expect me to be bringing home a baby any time soon, okay?”

  “You just haven’t found the right girl yet,” she says. “But when you do, man, you’ll know it.”

  My stomach flips and I adjust my position on the couch, propping a pillow under my arm and carefully avoiding my sister’s eyes. For some reason I’m afraid she’ll see something there I don’t want anyone to see.

  So what if there’s been one particular woman on my mind a lot lately? It’s just because we’re working together so much. It doesn’t mean anything.

  “It really is worth it, you know?” Cammie says, a dreamy expression in her eyes as she stares down at the baby.

  “You better get to sleep or I’m going to take back my offer and go play some video games instead,” I say.

  Cammie laughs and shakes her head. She knows I’m bluffing, but I like to see her smile, anyway.

  “Thank you,” she whispers again, and disappears to one of the trailer’s back bedrooms.

  I sigh and settle deeper into the couch. The baby is fast asleep now, her pink face peaceful and still. I don’t dare turn on the TV or make any noise. I don’t want to wake her up, because I know the second sh
e begins to cry, Cammie will be right back out here fussing over her.

  Instead, I find a comfortable position and stare into that sweet baby’s face as she sleeps.

  “Your mommy’s wrong,” I whisper. “I’m never going to settle down like this.”

  Emma yawns again and wraps her tiny finger around mine, as if to say that no matter how hard I try to resist, someday someone is going to wrap her life around mine and never let go.

  “Well played, baby,” I say with a laugh. “Well played.”

  After Cammie wakes up, I head over to my place and start clearing things out and cleaning up. All of the furniture and things are my cousin Tammy’s, so there isn’t much in here that’s actually mine. I grab a big duffel bag out of the closet and start stuffing all my clothes inside.

  Other than that, all I have is a few pictures and CD’s and things here and there. My laptop. Not much else. I don’t need too many things.

  Thank goodness Jo’s apartment is already furnished, or I’d be sleeping on a sleeping bag for the next few weeks.

  I load my bag and a couple boxes into the back of my truck and am just about to leave when I hear footsteps behind me. My chest tightens, and I turn around and cram my hands into my pockets. I was hoping to avoid a confrontation, but here we go.

  “Hey, Dad,” I say.

  “Going somewhere?” he asks.

  “Since Tammy’s coming home soon, I thought maybe it was time I found a place of my own,” I say. In this family, a place of your own means staying right here on our land.

  My dad frowns and takes a pack of cigarettes from the front pocket of his t-shirt. “Now, I told you you’re welcome to come stay with us,” he says. “There’s no need to go wasting money on a place in town. Just go on and move those things up to our place.”

  I shake my head and kick at the dirt with my boots. “I appreciate it, Dad, but I got a really good deal on a place right behind the bar. It’ll be convenient to work and it’s already furnished and everything.”